dis is soooooo cute.
this is gorgeous <3 sometimes i get really self-conscious and bummed out about being fat but then naja gives me all the cuddles and squeezes my chub in the loveliest way and i feel ok again (:
For the record, I LOVE love handles. I think fat is really sexy. I like squeezing it and watching it move and shoving my face in it and napping on it and getting smooshed by it. It’s just a thing that I like.
Sometimes when I say that fat is sexy (or don’t take an attitude like “you’re beautiful DESPITE it” which is what most “just the way you are” sentiments imply) people freak out. They look disgusted, or call me a “feeder”. Fat is just a normal body thing that I happen to like. Some people like six packs, some like cheekbones, some like the way tendons create shadows in a throat. I like being able to tuck my hand under my grrlfriend’s tummy when I’m big spoon, or boop her on the butt, or use her leg for a pillow. It’s sexy. I might go so far as to say it’s a kink (which is another way of saying a ridiculously attractive trait that isn’t socially acceptable, really). I have a thing for it.
Apparently not hating, not “tolerating”, not being disgusted by, or not policing my grrlfriend’s body, I’m weird. I’m honest when I say that if she lost weight, I’d respect her choice to do so and be happy if it made her happy–her confidence is sexier than any physical trait–but a selfish part of me would miss her squish. We talk about it. I don’t want her to feel like she owes it to anyone to be unfat. It’s an entirely personal choice, and I respect her physical autonomy and genuinely do love the shape she is right now. I’ll still love it no matter what, but on days when the crushing universe of fat hate gets through her incredibly strong walls of self-esteem, I make sure she knows that the person who cares most about her really likes this shape. It’s special. I go out of my way to make a point about it, because I know the whole world is trying to brainwash her otherwise.
It’s awful that people think a partner has not just a right, but an obligation, to police their lover’s body. Why the fuck does anyone think it’s their business to tell me it’s my business to hate something about the person I love? What does it say about women’s bodies and autonomy that partners are freaks for not hating and controlling them?
I respect my partner’s body. I also happen to love it. This should not be a radical opinion.